How To Build Healthy Relationships and Friendships As Teenagers

You may be in the middle of your first day of school, all alone, wondering who you should approach first. You may also be experiencing your first relationship ever, wondering what you can do to keep it healthy. Whatever situation you are in, there is something we all value, having healthy and meaningful friendships and relationships. For teens, the problem of developing healthy relationships can occur due to a lot of external pressures. Teenagers are at risk of falling in with the wrong crowd of friends, who may influence them to do unhealthy things. In order to be able to analyze building a healthy relationship, we have to understand the importance, and what an unhealthy relationship may look like. 

So, why are healthy relationships and friendships as a teenager important? These relations are important as they will have an effect on your future. Healthy relationships lead to less stress, healthy lifestyles, and a greater sense of purpose.(Northwestern Medicine, 2021). These factors affect your physical health, as people with healthy relationships are not affected by external factors, and they develop better diets, healing, and mental wellbeing. 

Now, let’s analyze what an unhealthy relationship or friendship may look like. An unhealthy relationship usually involves gaslighting. A person is trying to control you, and keep tabs on you, while hiding these intentions. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. There is also a lack of support. They do not have the desire to see you succeed, and can many times exhibit signs of jealousy. Feelings and conversations are dismissed, and we feel as though our feelings are not attended to (Sunshine CIty Counseling, 2025). This leads us to our next sign, lack of communication. This also involves a dismissal of your feelings, and they do not take time to work things out. You blame each other rather than understand each other. There is a sense of dependence. You feel as though without this person, you can’t do anything. You rely on their opinions and ideas, before making decisions, and you begin to lose your sense of autonomous identity (Herzberg, 2024). There is also belittling, where your partner or friend will make you feel less than, useless, affecting self-confidence, and verbal abuse, where they use your words to hurt you. Lastly, there is a lack of communication, where your partner only listens to their side of the story, and doesn't take time to work things out. You blame each other instead of understanding each other. 

Now, let’s take these qualities, and turn them around. A healthy relationship will always have qualities opposite of an unhealthy relationship. For example, an unhealthy relationship has a sense of dependance, while a healthy relationship has a sense of independance. Your lives do not revolve around each other. You are your own people, and being in a friendship and relationship, simply brings out the best in each other. There is trust, which allows for assurance between partners and you set boundaries. Trust means being open, and following through on what you say you will do (Sandoval, 2024). You communicate with each other, sharing feelings and working out problems. You do not gossip about each other, but you listen to each other and respond with empathy (Valley Oaks Health, 2024). There is honesty, where you can tell each other anything without fear of being criticised, judged, fear of judgement (Mozina, 2023). All of these aspects help build healthy relationships that will be long lasting and memorable. There is patience, which ensures peace and cooperation, as well as commitment. It is helpful to recognize each other’s situations, and adjust accordingly instead of keeping track of mistakes (Shafer, 2023).

Now, we go to the most important part, how do we build more of these healthy relationships and friendships? First, you have to have well developed social skills. One of the greatest issues, especially one, when it comes to teenagers building relationships or friendships, is their lack of social skills. Being well equipped will allow for teenagers to be able to navigate social situations, such as knowing when a relationship can develop into a healthy relationship, and recognizing the people who will not be the best friends. You also have to be willing to make genuine connections. When a teenager seeks relationships or friendships that are genuine, with no strings, they meet people with the same interest, allowing for friendships that will grow. Any relationship that is not made with genuine intentions can lead to manipulation, and will be short-lasting. Choosing to connect with people who have the same goals, drive, or interests, as you, will allow for healthy friendships and relationships. Lastly, there needs to be patience. Friendships can only be developed if you are willing to be patient with others. Everyone makes mistakes, and you should expect that anyone you meet will make simple mistakes, but what makes relationships healthy is being able to navigate these conflicts (Chae, 2025).

Building healthy relationships and friendships is very important at our age. We are meeting people who will be with us through thick and thin. We should be able to develop the skills necessary to detect these long-lasting friendships, that will help build us up rather than tear us down. We should all have friends that we can count on, and that start with being able to recognize the best people for us. 

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Works Cited:

Carly Sandoval, M. S. U. E. (2024, August 8). Building friendships and support. Healthy Relationships. https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/building_friendships_and_support 

Chae, C. (2025, February 26). How to help teens build healthy friendships. Abundance Therapy Center. https://www.abundancetherapycenter.com/blog/supporting-teens-in-building-healthy-friendships 

Herzberg, B. (2024, May 9). Defining emotional overdependency in unhealthy relationships. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-of-relationships-and-emotional-intelligence/202405/defining-emotional 

Mozina, B. (2023, April 24). 5 toxic & 5 healthy friendship signs. Grow and Thrive Therapy. https://www.growandthrivetherapymn.com/blog/5-signs-of 

Northwestern Medicine. (2021, September). 5 benefits of healthy relationships. https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/5-benefits-of-healthy-relationships 

Shafer, J. (2023, June 24). What does a healthy relationship look like?. Dr. Julie Shafer - People Pleaser and Relationship Coach. https://www.drjulieshafer.com/blog/what-does-a-healthy-relationship-look-like 

Signs of a healthy friendship - valley oaks health. Valley Oaks Health - Valley Oaks Health provides comprehensive, mental health, addiction recovery, and primary medical care services to the citizens of nine central Indiana counties. (2024, April 22). https://www.valleyoaks.org/health-hub/signs-of-a-healthy-friendship/